The end of a pregnancy. The loss of an embryo that didn’t take.
It’s shit. Utterly shit.
Regardless of whether your pregnancy was planned or not, or if you knew you were pregnant for two days or two months; when a pregnancy ends, it sucks.
There’s barely *any* acknowledgement of pregnancy loss in our society, despite it being common. Most of the time it’s a very private experience so we don’t get the support we could really do with. Even when people do know, they don’t know what to say or they say the wrong thing. We’re left feeling like crap and somehow expected to “get on with life”. Because it’s that easy.
The grief and sadness of your embryo(s) not taking can be just as devastating as a miscarriage. You’re not just processing the news and your emotional response, your body is also working hard to process the drug protocol you’ve been on – it’s no wonder women feel so deflated, depleted and depressed after an unsuccessful IVF cycle.
Then there’s the pressure to crack on with things: To get back to work after all the time you’ve had off running all over London to have your IVF related appointments, to keep trying to conceive “naturally” when you’ve gained half a stone, feel like crap and your libido is as flat as a pancake, to come up with a plan for what’s next on your journey to motherhood.
When you’ve had a termination.
Our society doesn’t create much space for healing from miscarriages, let alone terminations, and I feel strongly that women who have had them need to know there’s somewhere they can go to be cared for without being judged.
What my treatments do.
Being cared for by another woman can be an experience that allows you to gently open up, soften … and perhaps let go of what you feel ready to release. Simply put, these treatments are about receiving love and loving yourself.
“When I got in touch with Maisie it was a cry for help and healing firstly after a missed miscarriage, and then later after a surgical termination. I was struggling to come to terms with two pregnancies that weren’t and was sceptical about how much only one or two sessions would help. Maisie was extremely present and focussed and I felt I was in great hands with real, relevant experience. The most impactful part was the simple realisation that I would get through it. Maisie brought with her the experience of generations of women and I felt that in her treatment. It was great to find someone who really just got it and could offer real support without fluff or platitudes.”
Appointments like this are longer then my usual ones, that’s so that we have the opportunity to talk through whatever you want to, do a nourishing treatment, and then have a cuppa before you head home.
I don’t charge extra for this.
Despite pregnancy loss being common, it’s usually something we go through in private so we don’t get the support we need. I know that when women come to see me, they often have a lot to unload and are grateful for the chance to truly be themselves and be upfront about what they’ve gone through, that’s not something I wish to rush.
Following a miscarriage, I was feeling anxious and disconnected to my body. When I met Maisie I knew I was in good hands, she felt grounded and I could tell she genuinely wanted to help me. Maisie has an amazing sense of touch and made me feel very safe, which is exactly what I needed. There was a special moment in our session where I could feel all the built up pain and emotion leave my body. Maisie has healing hands and a big heart, she helped me to realise that I don’t need to do what doesn’t feel right … that I can say no!” – M.C., Derry.
Ready to book an appointment or phone consultation? Head over here.
This really depends on what takes your fancy, what your pregnancy loss involved and how you’re feeling. I often combine therapies in order to give you a nourishing treatment that meets your needs, so it can be something we discuss and decide on after we’ve completed your consultation and I have a good understanding of where you’re at with it all.
Options include: ATMAT®, acupuncture, reflexology and aromatherapy.
When you feel ready.
Some women see me when they are going through a “threatened miscarriage” and we focus on supporting the pregnancy and reducing symptoms like spotting, bleeding and cramping.
Others will have just found out their embryo didn’t take, have miscarried or had an ERPC, D&C or termination. It might even be years ago that their pregnancy ended, but they’re only in a space where they come for treatment now.
Check out my blog post on how to recover after a miscarriage. I hope it helps.